Key To Success

What do you do when you come across a key to success in a book you're reading? You ponder over it. Since I read many books and come across many keys, I thought it would be fun to share the ideas that arise as I contemplate a key to success. Reading is not just about absorbing information, it's also about contemplating, allowing the ideas to blossom within, and nurturing a seed tossed in the rich soil of the inner garden.

Location: Denver, Colorado, United States

I got my Master's degree in psychotherapy more than a decade ago. Since then I've studied the human condition with fascination. Over the years, I've learned a singular lesson: your life does not work when you oppose your soul nature. If you want a magical life, you have to drop your inauthentic transactions with the world. You discover your own power when you spend time alone to figure out what you really love to do.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Simple Little Secret That Improves Relationships by 100%

Michelle has many friends. They call her often. She also has a devoted family. Michelle is only alone when she chooses to be, and she is never lonely. This has always been the way for her. Since childhood, she has never lacked for companionship.

Karen has just the opposite experience of life. She makes friends but loses them quickly. She seldom contacts her family, mainly because they often argue about small things. Loneliness is habitual for her. Even when she is with other people, she feels lonely…because she can’t feel a connection with them.

Ramón is shy. He opens up to people slowly and sometimes likes and trusts them. But he is never quite sure of his relationships. He wants to reach out more but is never quite sure of other people. He is often lonely, but sometimes enjoy wonderful companionship. Unfortunately these moments of bonding are not frequent and he spends a lot of time reminiscing on true friends who have since changed or moved away.

Some people live in a loving world. They are surrounded by family, friends, and well-wishers. They move in circles of affection that seem to expand over time.

Other people live in a hostile world. They spend lives full of broken relationships, forsaken trusts, and tarnished hopes. They lose touch with people quickly. They win new friends slowly, if at all.

Most people live in-between these worlds and many times they’re not sure how they stand. The world to them is a shifting place, where boundaries blur and orientations change. They never quite feel comfortable in it. It’s unpredictable. They embark on each relationship with doubt. Hesitation defines their world.

Now, the funny thing is this: it’s the same world.

The world and it’s people does not happen to us. We happen to it. We impact it silently with our thoughts and feelings...and obviously with our words, actions, and attitudes.

How do you move from a world of isolation to one of companionship?

Perhaps a song from The Sound of Music written by the unforgettable Oscar Hammerstein can clue us in.

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn't put there to stay -
Love isn't love
'Til you give it away.

You get from isolation to companionship by giving yourself away. You turn potentiality into actuality through self-sacrifice. Yet you never lose or have less because what you put out comes back to you multiplied.

Those who live in a loving world are natural givers. They give of their time, talent, and treasure. Others respond to them in kind.

Those who live in a hostile world oppose everyone and share little of themselves.

While those who live in a doubtful world wait in vain for others to warm up to them.

You choose, with every interaction, the world you live in.

Reaching out and touching someone’s life in a positive way can be as simple as a smile.

When you give a little of yourself, you receive much more in return. It’s a simple little secret that can brighten up the world and your life.

Resource Box

Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you're up to the challenge and want to create the kind of freedom and lifestyle you truly deserve - starting now - then get his free book from


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Blogger The hip work at home mom said...

This comment rings so true Saleem. I have seen this happen over and over again in my life. The sad part is that those who are lonely and experiance rejection rarely sit down and take stock of their behavior and try and improve themselves. They blame others and in doing so create an endless cycle of misrey and loneliness.

Sadiyya Patel

1:53 PM  

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